I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
