Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize