What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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