If i come over, it means nothing
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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