My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Randomize