I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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