you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
