M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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