I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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