i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
