Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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