he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
