you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
