is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
