the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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