It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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