so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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