After last night, I could never be a politician.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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