You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
