After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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