Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
