based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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