I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I didn't notice because vodka
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
