what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
