Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize