just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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