real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Randomize
