So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
