it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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