How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
