i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
