So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
