Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
should my penis look like a turkey
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
