In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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