I murdered the dance floor call the cops
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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