Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
