i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize