My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
