is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
