what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
