actually, I'm a sock model
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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