my phone needs a breathalizer
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
