Sacagawea was the original milf.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Drunk is not a location!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
