Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
