i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
