The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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