Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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