The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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