I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
