When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Terrible idea I love it
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
