Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize