He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize