You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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