I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
