Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
