the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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