She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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