yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
