And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
