I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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