I wanna bring you to show and tell
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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