They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
