I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
