went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
