Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
