tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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