Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
