What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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